"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

I Happened to be at a spiritual workshop last week, so I thought of writing my mind on the most amazing quote that was a part of the Workshop..!

So, the question is.... how do you know when someone is worth keeping around? Talk about a difficult question! I am a firm believer that people come into your life for a reason. I believe that each person that you meet... each person that you interact with... they all leave some sort of wake in your life. Whether it be a gentle wave crashing in on the sands of your life or a thunderous storm knocking down everything in its path. The decision as to how long they remain in your life, well, thats another question.

Pain is OBVIOUSLY a part of life. There is no way around it. You will hurt people. People will hurt you. It's going to happen. The only thing that we can do in life is try our very best to not hurt others. But what do you do when there is someone in your life that you care for, who does mean a lot to you but you are continually hurt by this person? Is it purposeful? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, how do you decide if the the good times are worth the heartache? How do you know if and when it is time to say enough?

This is something that I think everyone struggles with at one point or another. It can be fairly easy to say goodbye to someone who hasn't been in your life that long. But, when it comes to a person that you have a history with; a person that you have a strong connection with (whether it be a friend, a family member, or a person you were in a relationship with)... what is the deciding factor in your mind that makes you think, "Thats it. I have had enough." This is something, that unfortunately, has been on my mind quite a bit over the past few months. There are a few people that I seriously have so much love for, but no matter which way the wind blows, there is always something hurtful coming out of their mouths. And, as painful as it has been, I have severed ties with these people for the time being. Do I miss them? Of course I do. But, at the same time, I know that my heart is much safer with it this way for now.

Yes, at some point in life I will hurt the people I love. Yes, the people I love, at some point or another will hurt me. Its a part of life. All I can do is hold faith in my heart that I those around me are honest and loving in their intentions.

"Love comes from a sure heart,a good conscience and a sincere faith"
1 Timothy 1:5

What Started Me Thinking!

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Robert Louis Stevenson

"Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.” Simone Weil

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette

“It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light.” G. K. Chesterton

“A man’s first care should be to avoid the reproaches of his own heart.” Joseph Addison

“Best is good. Better is best.” Lisa Grunwald

“Order is Heaven’s first law.” Alexander Pope

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have!!

This incident happened to me when I was in Chennai @ a doctors clinic and this changed the way I entierly look at life...
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived to have stitches removed from a wound.He said he was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.Since I was not busy ,waiting for my turn to meet the doctor I started talking to him.I had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, and told him that he could take my turn and go in and meet the doctor as he seemed to be in a hurry.

On the doctor's exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, but he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.I inquired about her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.I was surprised, and asked him,

“And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?”
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ”She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.”
I had to hold back tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arms and thought, “That is the kind of love I want in my life.”

Its been five years that this incident had taken place, yesterday the gentleman called me up to inform me that his wife had passed away 3 days back without recognizing him for 10 long years, and the only thing he had left to say is "I Just loved her the way she was!!!"

"True love is neither physical nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."

The Voice of the Heart

A take diversion signboard cannot stop the journey. When you look beyond, ends become bends. Potholes and speedbreakers can slow down the journey, but do not have the power to stop the journey. I wasnt able to write anything for sometime now, cause my mind was full of questions that needed alot of matured answers. I had to meet a lot of different people, give myself alot of time alone, make myself feel happy and people around me so that I could write this and understand what I actually wanted to write.

The world can stop you temporarily. The only one who can stop you permenantely is yourself. Stop not. Temperorary setbacks should never alter permanent focus. You may trip. You may even fall. But you will not stay fallen. Let life put you down seven times, you will and must rise eight times. Getting up one more time is what will power all about. Keep going.

You are just one evening away from greatness. You may not know which evening, but your time will come. All those who laughed at you would look upto you one day. All those who did'nt accept you will admire you one day. Dont be bothered about what the world thinks of you. It is not their opinion that counts. It is your opnion of yourself that really counts. In the end what really matters is what you think of yourself. Even if nobody beleives in you, your ideas, if you beleive in yourself, then the destination is yours.

It is not the end till you accept it to be the end. Do not let others to define the end. You define the end. You will define the end on your terms. It is over only when you beleive it is over. Even if life hands you over a period (.) , you make a comma (,) out of it and continue the script, its something like having the most important thing in life without owning it. The question is'snt, will you reach? The question is only, by when will you reach?

Let the script of your life be titled, "Here is a man, whom even god never tried to stop" Be unstoppable, fall not, move on, Keep going........

These learnings above were only possible after few souls left a footprint in my heart. Above all the footprint of the almighty in your life makes you confident and ready for the unexpected.....untill next time Happy Blogging.....

Heart Touching Lines….

I read these lines some time ago. These are not written by me but some how I couldn’t stop myself from posting them here. Some things which are mentioned here are just so true and if you have loved someone and has got pain in reward of that, you will be agree with me.  Have a read:

Could you be the one for me?
Could you be my find?
Could it be, after all this time,
Fate is going to be kind?
Could you be the one for me,
The one to help me forget
The gal that broke my heart, my soul
The gal that haunts me yet?
You tell me that I’m nice
Something I’ve never heard
But the one still lives here in my mind
That couldn’t spare a kind word
It’s going to be hard to forget
And pick up the pieces she left
Could you be the one to teach
How to love again and forget?
Could you be the one to come
And mend my broken heart?
Are you willing to piece together
What another broke apart?
It won’t be an easy job, you see
My road has been long and rough
And the heart that was once so soft
Is now shut, locked, and tough
But I can feel my heart open again
It’s opening for you
Just come in, and love me back
That’s all you have to do
I must ask you one small thing
Before we kiss and part
Please be nice and kind to me
I’m tired of broken hearts


Some where the poet says that heart of his, which was just so soft and kind some time ago, thanks to that person who broke it, now it is no more that soft.  Now it is no more that soft.  Now its just locked and it has become so much tough.  People who break hearts, people who leave their loved ones for their own gains, selfishness, people who back off on the path of love, they never understand the true meanings of love and loving some one.  Its very easy to break a heart.  What is tough is to be with some one!Its very easy to be selfish and do things just for your own good and for your own benefit.  Its so tough to do  something for others.  Its so much tough to do some thing for some one.  But there are some selfish and cold hearted people in this world too who don’t understand the pain of others, who just have complaints but not few words of appreciation, who just call that person stupid who has done something for them.


Is that person really stupid who went through all that pain for his loved one or is that person is so much stupid who gave away everything for the sake of love?If you are among those who never bothers that someone is doing some thing you, if you say to him/her that what ever he/she has done, it was just his/her wish, you never asked him to do that for you and it was just him who was stupid enough to do all that much for you, if you are among those who say to their loved ones when they are crying with the pain given by you that you don’t have time for their tears and some one’s tears doesn’t mean anything for you coz you have your own problems and that “some one” is no one else but that person who loved you from the bottom of his heart than just remember this, you never will know how much damage you have done!  You have not just broken the heart of some one but also you have killed that very feeling, you have broken that trust that was there some time ago on  love in the heart of that person.  You must know this that its not so easy to be in love and those who are just selfish and come up with explanations supporting their selfishness only , they cant love some one.  Those who give pain and tears to others, they can’t understand what is love and how to love some one.  Those who know just about their own benefits, they are just playing with the feelings of others.  Why do people do like that?When you know you cant give happiness to some one , who has given you the right to give pain to him?When you can’t take some one tears from their eyes who authorized you give the same tears to the other person? But its not some thing about which answer can be given because this world is filled with the people like these only who do everything for just their own benefit and than come and try to prove their act right with the reasons supporting them. True love and true and devoted lovers are just now sleeping in the books only.People of today just know how to say that I have to leave you and be selfish for myself as this is the best for me to do. Is it right or is it wrong you want to know? I dont have the answer as I myself is trying to find the answer for the same puzzle. If you know the answer than let me know too, that’s all I can say.

Happiness is....a journey,not a destination

Happiness is…taking in all the wonders of life; its joys, its sorrows, its sunshine and the beautiful rainbow that follows the rain. Happiness involves learning from each enriching experience life throws your way. It also encourages you to share these experiences and your ever-increasing wisdom with those close to your heart as happiness is made to be shared. But a bar of chocolate does sometimes hit the spot too!


I was discussing "feelings" with a friend lately over a Coffee and we were talking about how great a feeling happiness is. I’m sure the feeling varies from person to person, but for me, when I feel happy, the feeling really does come from somewhere inside my stomach region. Sadness and anxiety usually manifest themselves in the same region at the appropriate times but obviously, the happiness feeling is easier to embrace. It’s glorious and as corny as it sounds, all I want to do is share that feeling with the people around me. It’s a bit like the feeling you get when you’re in love…it feels like lightning coursing through your veins and you feel truly alive. Although happiness, like waves at sea, comes and goes during our lifetimes, and naturally varies in its intensity, when we experience it, it’s essential to enjoy that feeling in the moment without worrying about losing it or holding on to it.


The everyday philosophy of life is fascinating and fortunately, most people have various opinions and advice to offer in terms of the most commonly discussed topics such as the meaning of happiness. I remember striking up a conversation with a Friend at a café. We somehow bypassed the usual small talk that strangers often dwell on and proceeded immediately to have a heart-to-heart on the subject of happiness.  This man’s definition of happiness, although not entirely different from the various definitions construed by the rest of us mere mortals, has always stayed with me.In this man’s view happiness is a gift which we must give ourselves. It is a gift which costs nothing and it cannot be given to us by another as happiness comes from within. Once we bestow this gift upon ourselves, it stays with us forever—we may not always feel it or appreciate it but this precious gift remains close to the soul, the very essence of our being.

Intrigued, I felt compelled to ask some questions. ‘Dude, knowing the origins of happiness and where it can be found, can you explain to me what happiness is?’ ‘Yes’, he replied. First he explained, it is important to know what happiness is not. It does not come in the form of material things such as money, cars, clothes or anything else you can touch. Nor does happiness present itself as another person. Although happiness is made to be shared, only you can create it. Happiness manifests itself as a feeling or a state of being. You create happiness when your mind, body and soul are connected and when you, as a whole, are at one with the external world around you.

The next obvious question which he answered refers to how we achieve this inner peace and ‘oneness’  with the world and the people around us. To put it simply, in order to be at peace with yourself, you must be true to yourself. Being ‘true to yourself’ involves loving yourself and believing in your abilities and your dreams. It also necessitates that by believing in your dreams, you must make them a reality by following the emblazoned path you’re meant to forge for yourself in your lifetime. When you live the life your dreams and destiny implore you to live, then you are fulfilled and at peace with yourself. When you are at peace with yourself, this has a natural ripple effect and you are then at peace with everybody around you.Therefore, when a person is unhappy, either they haven’t yet begun to pursue their dreams or they have started to do so but they have encountered some difficulties along the way. The path of life is littered with challenges but although life’s twists and turns may sometimes seem physically and emotionally impassable, it’s when things seem hardest that you must persevere. As long as you remain true to yourself and your dreams, happiness will never elude you.

As my family and friends know, if my head wasn’t physically attached to my body, I’d have lost it long ago, alongside, socks [seriously, there has to be a sock vortex in every washing machine] and various other worldly possessions. Fortunately, once you’ve experienced happiness, you can never lose it. Sometimes, you just have to be patient and have faith in yourself. This l have learnt alongside from all the faliures and rejections that I had in my life which later became a stepping stone for my success!

‘Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony’
-Mahatma Gandhi

Change! a boon or a test!!

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die!!

My Days in Bangalore!! De Ja Vu!!

The time had come for me to leave the city that had given me some of the best days of my life, Bangalore. Where am I going? I asked myself way back in April 2006! Same place where I came from, the big bad yet annoyingly perfect city, Hyderabad. A city which is known to be famous for biryanis, the way of speaking say it Hyderabadii..! I had been going back to that city after spending three wonderful years in Bangalore.(now Bengaluru)!

My relocation from Hyderabad to Bangalore was a signpost moment in my life, and each day that I spent here were milestone sort. Life was at an all time high ever since I stepped in Bangalore, suddenly a door of fun, fame and friends had opened and I was overwhelmed with all that came my way. My being a part of the events & Fests that followed that year, the young and fun techies of Bangalore, the free and footloose lifestyle, the travel, the adventure, romance I did it all.

But it all seemed to have come to an end from the start of 2007. In just 3 years too much changed. Suddenly all the fun activity had lost its charm, people have moved on to different cities or have found some other pre occupation. If at the start of 2007 it was one of the most exciting thing to go out for a bloggers meet in the city, in just 2 years bloggers meet have become passé and they have moved on to tweetups.

The thing about Bangalore life is that it’s very volatile. The crowd here is a floating crowd, young techies freshly out of college come to Bangalore after campus selections, they give this city and their companies 2-3 years and move on for better opportunities. For 2 years they live to the fullest. These 3 years become their days of living life on the edge. Which is why you see so much of energy in this city.

But if you stick around for too long you’d notice, under the bubbling and bursting surface lies hidden a slow, lethargic mundane life. It may take you couple of years but it eventually hits you with a feeling of Deja Vu, like you have seen and felt it all before. Those smoky pubs, those unshaven rock stars, they would all seem a bit too familiar if you have taken too many rounds of the city.

This feeling of having served my days here began to seep in my mind since the start of this year. I started feeling I have lost my purpose in Bangalore. I wanted more from my life.

And then I was posed with the question, do I want to my feet in Bangalore to be rooted further and deeper? Do I want to invest more here to have a bigger life? The answer was No. Because I was done with the fun in Bangalore, the city had nothing more to offer to me. So I decided to move, but not before I could find the right job.!

Bangalore has given me the most valuable things in life, it helped me to to think foward, A wonderful graduation, hostel life, amazing friends, and over all kick start my carrer with the bangalore IT giant Wipro. It had been a wonderful journey in the city of bangalore and I cherish those moments and would love to be a part of the city in the days to come!!! Miss Ya Bengaluru!!!

Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya - Out of words!!!!

"Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya" (English meaning - Will you cross the skies for me ?!) - one of the movies I was really looking forward to.. Reading the review, I came to know that it's a beautiful movie given that you have all the time on earth..

On seeing the movie, I almost fell in love with it.. If you are in for some tickling laughter, or some flesh exposure, I would strongly advice you not to watch it.. But rather,if you wanna experience the reality, or your one kinda person who thinks smaller things bring soo much happiness to life, I am sure you would love the movie  the way I did.. This movie is all about class and elegance- a reality happening in many households in India..

The storyline is simple - a Hindu Tamil guy and a Christian Malayalee girl, in love with each other.. Do they get a chance to hold their hands together?.. Regular storyline isn't it ?!.. Ofcourse yes, but the difference lies in the way it's expressed...

I don't really get this whole attitude (not only this, but many) prevailing in India.. When people talk about globalisation, world being a global village - why is it still that an inter-caste marriage is not supported in here ?!.. Finally, we end up in this usual blame game and the readymade solutions - our "customs" are different....What really are these "customs" ?!  If you start doing things in a new way, for a long time, it becomes a custom.. Only that, we have hiccups to start doing things in a new way..

One major reason for this hiccup being - "naalu paerru naalu vidhama paessuvanga" .. For all the non-tamil folks, the meaning of the above sentence is this "Society will speak different things about you".. And usually, people who represent that "society" are : someone who might have seen you while you were boarding a train, someone who might have wished you "All the best" when you wrote your 1 std. exam, someone who visits your house once in two years, or in the worst-case it might be someone whom you knew all through your life.. Why is it we give importance to the views of these people whom you meet once in a lifetime, just for living your own life the way you want it to be.. Shocked, still !!!!!!

In short - Vinnaithaandi varuvaya - slow, but lovely storyline, elegant music, attractive Trisha, smart Simbu, blatant truth !!!....  Have some patience, notice the smaller things, it would make you fall in love...

The dialogue I liked in the movie :- "Don't search for love, it would come to you one day.. Will make you go in a roller coaster, thats love - true love"..

P.S :- I dunno to whom the following line is addressed to.. So let me address it to the girl I once was in love with!!... and with whom I wanted to spend the best days of my life with !!!

Last but not the least I appreciate Gautham Menon on making such a wonderful epic which makes one feel that he/she is a part of the movie!!!!

What if I had never let you go!!

Now that I'm no longer with you,
Now that you have left for good,
How things would have been, I want to know,
What if I had never let you go?

The lonely walks that I take,
The gloomy sunsets I see,
Would they have been the same
Had I been with thee?

The smell of fading flowers,
Solitary scenery and that nature's show,
Do you think would have been so dull
If I had never let you go?

Do you think the smile of that little girl
Would have made me feel so low,
I'm not able to understand,
And these things I want to know.

Morning dew, high mountains,
Give me the feeling of being so lonely,
In spite of being so far,
I feel you are the one and only.

It was you who gave me strength when I was low,
And it was you who reigned supreme,
That's because you were the answer,
To all the prayers I plead and all my dreams.

Lonely walks, gloomy sunsets, smelly flowers;
Morning dew, little girl's smile, and gentle showers,
Would have still brought a smile I know,
If only I had never let you go.

           Dedicated to a long lost love!!!

Life lessons from my father

Words cannot express the role parents play in the life of their children and the myriad ways they influence their lives.

I was fortunate to have been born to a middle-class couple who brought me up with love and affection, and nurtured me to take on the world. I cannot ever recall them being strict with me, and yet in their unique way, they led by the example of their lives. The life lessons I learnt from them are, as they say, things they don’t teach you at Harvard.

Talking about mothers comes naturally to us but fathers also need their day under the sun. My father was a graduate and held a white-collar job. His greatest quality was his humility. He always held himself responsible for his failures without giving excuses. He was a master of plain speak and he spoke only what he truly meant.

I remember him always telling me that you need to make it big in life and do things which he couldnt. Not once did he attribute it to office politics or careless uneducated parents with many children to look after or incompetent teachers or luck and destiny. He was very fond of citing examples of his classmates who made it big in their lives in spite of similar or harsher family circumstances, by virtue of their own hard work. This attitude had an indirect effect on me; I have always valued intellectual integrity at the cost of approbation, and prefer self-effacement to an overbearing nature, not necessarily strong points in many situations.

Another good quality I have always appreciated in him is that he never felt it below his dignity to shower deserving praise on anybody, even to his own detriment. He admired the brilliance of the young and old alike in his department with no ego whatsoever, and predicted a bright future for them. This had an indirect bearing on my behaviour with my juniors. If they make a mistake, I ask myself whether I had committed similar mistakes in my younger days and my conscience invariably replies in the affirmative which helps keep the situation pleasant for both of us.

Another of his habits that I have imbibed to my advantage is reading newspapers and books not only for news but also for their editorials. It had the effect on me of minding my Ps and Qs both in language and in character to the best of my ability.

His belief in God and religion was simple. Visiting places of worship and practicing rituals were not compulsory for him and the same holds true for me.

Last but not the least, even his regret that he could not give us the best in lyf always made me motivated and feel that though I could'nt make it to a Harvard or a IIM, this day I am as good as one of them.

                   I hope to carry that fight forward in far, far better circumstances.

The unsaid Love!

There are so many words I cannot say,when I look into your eyes.I want to be able to tell you one day,but I'm left speechless every time that I try.
You must have stumbled across the key,and discovered so much more.You found a hidden place in me,you found my heart and opened the door.And I cried in pain of losing my dear friend.

Will it ever be the same again?If it passes will it be the end?I realized it was worth so much,as I lie in bed that night.So I allowed my soul to be touched,without even putting up a fight.Are my eyes deceiving me,when I see you standing there?Are you playing games,just to prove I care?

You speak my name in a prelude,in a reference to love,with such loving attitude,as if it were a message from above.With the palms of your handspressed firmly against mine,a white doves lands,and the sun begins to shine.

Someday I will see,though that day has not come yet.You'll say you love me,but will you ever forget?If that happens and my spirit dies,if my emotions drop,will you want to hold me when I cry?Or will the love just suddenly stop?We can't expect to fall in love and never cry.

You'll stay and play your part,but after the beauty starts to die,will your footprints still be on my heart?Though it would be hard to say goodbye,your friend I'll always be,as long as we always try,to keep the friendship between you and me.
The letter I will not send will casually inquire,how could you have brought it to an end?I was your one desire.After this life is over,you'll be one person I know I'll miss.

It'll be too late to start over, and so I leave you with this...I'll hold you for a lifetime,if you'll just hold my hand.We could have a wonderful time,in the days we have not yet planned :)

When Change knocks @ ur door!

A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.You stop trying to control people, situations a
nd outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can :)

Middle Class Me!!

I don’t seem to understand this culture (for the lack of a better word, thanks to my miniscule vocabulary) that is gripping most of the people I see.
People visit spas, beauty salons every weekend, wear all kinds of outlandish clothes to malls, movies and the like. I don’t seem to get why people send thousands on a massage using exotic oils when I can get the same done for ten bucks at my local barber shop using nothing less than Navratna thanda tel. Why attend dance classes when youre over 30? And bang comes the answer…”uff! You’re so middle class!!”
A few years ago, when I first visited Bangalore, my friends and I went to this (then) swanky mall called the Forum. I was then wearing some cheap local tailor made half sleeve shirt and trousers. Wearing footwear of some cheap brand of which I cant even recall the name, I stood in awe of the crowd over there. Girls and guys wearing the best brands, flaunting oversized glares and swiss made watches. I used to think, my time will come. Soon, I will have a job, get decent money and will be able to wear the best brands, flaunt my glares and my watches and my shoes et al.
Today, Im earning decent cash for people my age. I am wearing nothing less than Reeboks for footwear, fastrack glares and branded Tshirts and denims. But inspite of all this, whenever I visit that mall, hoping to make some mark, I stand dumbfounded right at the entrance. People still wear better clothes, have still got the whackiest hairdos which other people take notice of, the hottest girls going around with good looking guys and I as is usual, stand alone. Even my batchmates, those I could crush (intellectually) way back in school or in college are going around flaunting the latest in fashion. These people are my age, earn more or less the same amount that I do, if not less. Then where is the difference? Why am I supposed to look like this stupid ‘gaonwaala’ in front of these ‘mod’ guys?
I cant seem to put the blame on either my college or my school background or my hometown as the same people I used to hang out with have moved way up on this ‘social’ ladder. Who am I supposed to blame then? Why should we bear the brunt of having to look so ‘out of fashion’? why should we be looked down upon as idiots who don’t seem to understand this culture? Why should I be treated as an outsider in my own hometown? When will I be able to join their league? Wouldn’t I be too old to do this stuff?
These are questions which remain unanswered. I have tried expressing this irony to those who are close to me and they either don’t seem to care or are in the ‘elite’ league already.
I still try and retain my hope but it isn’t going to stick around for more time……..

The pleasure in pain!!

Isn’t it ironic. The title I mean.
 
But looking back at my history, it seems that pain is always what ive found pleasure in. its like pain is an aphrodisiac, a stimulant and a well earned smoke at the end of a long and hard day.

All of us have come across people who although (our perception) are in a decent position in life, always look pensive, serious and ready to explode. We sometimes out of sympathy try and talk to them so that they feel better but for some strange reason, it never seems to help.

I heard it from someone that some humans had this ability to bring physical illness upon themselves just by thinking that they were ill. Psychosoma I think it was called.

If, we delve deeper into our own psyche, somewhere, hidden in a dark corner is a masochist hiding. He/ she is waiting to pounce on us at the slightest chance. It may be the sudden remembrance of an old lost friend, an old love, a longing for known faces or any of the innumerable reasons that can trigger pain in a human.

Some of us get drunk, others listen to songs which talk about suffering and a few others do things which to put it mildly, are plain unlawful. just to get away from that feeling. But these things have an inevitable impact of aggravating that very same feeling that we wanted to get rid of in the first place.

The best part is that we know that none of the solutions would work, and yet we always opt for them. Its like a wound which we give ourselves and start crying the moment blood starts spilling out.

In the movie ‘The Matrix: Reloaded’, when the character Neo meets the architect, the architect explains to him how humans always consider pain and misery a part of their lives. He explained how his first  program which was designed to make people believe that they were happy always ended up becoming a disaster, just because people were not ready to accept a life that didn’t make them unhappy once in a while.

And yet, in spite all of these, those of us who pray always ask god to remove the misfortune that has been wrought upon them.  Those of us who don’t,  always remain cautious not to utter a wrong word here and make a wrong move there, lest their life become full of hardships.

 Its time now, for us to think that whether we really need to eliminate pain from our life? Do we really need to feel happy all the time? Isn’t it good that we become sad once in a while, just so that we can get over it and move forward. Is it really worth going that extra mile just to be on the ‘safer side’?

PS: it ain’t about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward- Rocky Balboa
PPS: things might seem a bit unclear for the uninitiated. For those who know me well, excuse my lack of clarification. But I’m sure you’ve got the point. Haven’t you?